Vitamin P: perspective

Today the Captain has been nearly self-sufficient, other than needing protection from Sir O.
Sir O, however, has been... um, strong-willed and clingy. And sneaky. So far three is a difficult age.
He is finally asleep and I am glad, but the Captain is now awake, so it doesn't do me much good.

I have a tall glass of fresh-squeezed lemonade keeping me sane.
My kitchen is gross. Don't go in there, I'm warning you. I cannot seem to keep it remotely sanitary for more than an hour. REALLY wishing I could send Sir O outside to eat, and otherwise keep him out of there. But I can't.

We had a lovely 10 minutes today of watching ribbons blow and dancing in them. It eventually got out of control, as always happens with Sir O, and somebody got hurt, as always happens with Sir O. That somebody was the Captain, as usually happens with Sir O.

The laundry is folded. I wish it would put itself away.
I should very much like to spread out in a slightly larger house with a fenced in yard. A big fenced in yard. Feeling a tad bit claustrophobic lately. Grateful I'm not a pioneer living in a 4 room log cabin with 11 people. It would be ugly. Not to mention un-air-conditioned.

See? That just fixed everything. Sort of.

Stuck

Quagmirey deepness ahead.

I'm stuck. In a funk. Not progressing.
I've been a moody devil.
Poor Mr Renn has had a snarkey wife, prone to biting heads off.

Is it hormones? Am I depressed? What gives?

I've been astounded at how tunnel-visioned I've become, and how forgetful of important things. I had to put Sir O to bed by myself last night and I totally spaced reading scriptures and praying. No wonder he couldn't sleep. What's the matter with me?! It's not like I consciously chose not to do those things, I completely spaced it.

A conversation in institute class yesterday went in the direction of "when you get stuck, it's because you've become invested in your sins."

Well dang, what am I invested in?

Problem is I'm too physiologically distracted to figure it out.

Mostly I'm just tired. Really really tired. People ask me how the Captain is sleeping. I just smile. It's not his strong point folks. I haven't slept for 4 hours straight since he was born.

I've stumbled across some things I'd like to read to try to figure myself out. Contentment sounds like a fabulous read for a mother, and Matters of the Mind sounds like a good resource to have on hand, period. But I've got a mountain of reading right now. I've got two books about raising strong-willed children and this one about spirituality and homemaking. Reading another book is probably not going to make it on the agenda for a bit.

This exhaustion, this grind, this distraction, it's all normal right? It's supposed to be hard and I'm invariably going to vascillate in my ability to cope? I hope hope hope.

Morning - weekend recovery

Sir O got yet another (the last...) mini birthday celebration with our neighbors last night. He now has matching Batman PJ's with his current most favorite person. (Poor Sir O, his favorite people always move away, and this one is no exception). This is particularly cute because Sir O has no idea who batman is, he's just excited to match.

We spent the weekend trying to recover our wits and our nerves from the last two weeks of craziness. Progress was made.


This morning Sir O decided to share his cupcake with the captain. I wish I had been fully awake to keep this from happening. I also wish I'd taken the picture before I wiped most of the frosting off of his face.

Somehow not being a morning person is a problem when mothering these crazies.

In and Out

Can I just say that I love Children's Hospitals?
As opposed to trying to treat small people in facilities designed and structured for adults?

The Captain is now minus his Shrek-like appendage.
He smells like eugenol.
He's wildly moody, and napping like a champ.

Last night Sir O assaulted the Captain in his crib, then hollered for me to come take a picture. God obviously thinks it's important for the Captain to learn patience at an early age.

We packed up and left insanely early this morning to drop Sir O off with a babysitter. Both boys were troopers.

Poor kid had no idea what was coming.
If you look close in this not-quite-focused photo, you can see the Captain's new teeth.


This is the only photo I got of the Captain in his hospital gown. Clearly they don't see enough undersized 6 month olds to have anything the right size. This is exactly what his face looked like coming out of anesthesia. Oddly enough, this photo was taken pre-anesthesia.
Sleep away, my dear. Hopefully one of these times you startle awake you will be done with the terrified scratchy wailing. It makes me unbearably sad. Now I just have to figure out how to get Sir O to leave that steri-strip alone for a week.

Next

Tomorrow is the Captain's surgery to remove this:
Any idea how hard it is to get a good photo of something that small on a moving baby's head? With a mediocre camera?

It is a little thing, but still a big deal. Surgery always is.

I shall be glad to have it behind us.

Where I've been, what I've seen, what I've done.

The past two weeks have been such a fast-paced blur. I feel like I've been everywhere. I haven't, but I feel like it.

My family drove out to see us and to try to see as much as humanly possible in one trip. It was good to see them; it was good to see so many places and things.
Although I now need a nap just thinking about it.

We met them at Gettysburg. We beat them there as they had some car trouble and accompanying miracles. We killed the extra time with Mr Renn and Sir O in a train museum, and the Captain and I nursed in the car. Yeah, you're jealous. I sort of didn't take any pictures this entire day. Oops.

Next Day we ventured forth to the Shady Maple and Amish Country. The camera again disappeared into the nether regions of our diaper bag as I had my hands full with two overstimulated kids. That evening we had Sir O's first birthday shindig. It involved ice cream and Sir O making shrill sounds.

Day 3 - Washington DC. Camera never surfaced. That is so not like me, I know. My hands were full. Minimal sunburn-age, and I'm so happy the American History museum is finally open.

Day 4 - Church and Valley Forge. I took lots of pictures this day on my mom's camera. Too bad that doesn't help here......

Day 5 - Taking Philly by storm. (took a whopping 4 pictures) Sir O begins this business of throwing ridiculous tantrums over stupid things he can't possibly really care about.

Day 6 - Drive to upstate New York. Stop by Aaronic Priesthood restoration site and Whitmer Farm. Sir O begins to express his stir-craziness by running around like a maniac and trying to destroy important historic artifacts. I get upset with Mr Renn for being interested and learning things, because I didn't get to.

Day 7 - Visit the Smith Farm and Sacred Grove. I try frantically to keep Sir O from pulverizing other people's spiritual experiences. I spend 45 minutes with him in the parking lot waiting for everyone else to finish. I find myself in a bad mood. We visit Palmyra Temple, Hill Cumorah visitor center, original Book of Mormon publication site, and see Hill Cumorah pageant. After a David Copperfield-esque ascension in the play, Sir O decides that he's now terrified of Jesus as well as Santa and Fireworks. Terrific.

Day 8 - Venture to Niagara Falls. Ride Maid of the Mist. Very cool, but I wouldn't recommend riding it while holding a fussy baby. Very distracting.


Bid my family adieu and head to Henrietta, NY to meet up with Mr Renn's Sister's Family and his parents. By popular vote, we spend the evening at ChuckECheese where Sir O gets a second birthday party, is terrified of the mouse, and runs around like an overstimulated headless chicken. In retrospect he decides he loves it and asks to go back.

Day 9 - revisit sacred Grove, where a smart Mr Renn makes sure I get a few moments to be by myself and reflect. Part ways with family and start the long drive home. Spend almost 90 minutes in a traffic jam. Mr Renn about lost his marbles. Crash and burn once we get home.


Day 10 - Up and at 'em! Drive back out to Amish country to meet up with Mr Renn's other sister and her fam. The last of his siblings to make it out to see us. Sir O enjoyed the make-a-friend (or make a tractor) workshop at Cherry Crest Farms. We were treated to dinner at a farm-restaurant and Sir O embarrassed us by his hyperactive tantrum-ing.

Day 11 - Church, where it was my week to teach a lesson to all the kids in the primary. It's all a blur. Sir O got his 3rd birthday cake/party and got to play with his cousins at home.

Day 12 - I stay home and unpack, take the Captain to his Surgery pre-authorizing Dr. apt., make important phone calls and lick my wounds while Mr Renn's Sister's fam drives around Philly. We treat them to Zwahlen's and I am impressed by their Napoleon.

Day 13 (Yesterday) - Spend 1/2 day with Mr Renn's sister & fam at Longwood Gardens then see them off for Virginia. Attempt to make a dent in cleaning the apartment. Get discouraged.

Day 14 - (Today) - Smother the desire to curse my kids for waking up so early, vacuum, make a board game for sir O out of packing Styrofoam. Realize the carpet is now covered in Styrofoam granules and needs to be vacuumed again. Sort laundry, procrastinate making the trip down 3 flights of stairs to start it. Lay on my bed and let the captain play with my face.

That about sums it up.
Does it make you tired? It made me tired.
Photos and Videos here.

Lament

I miss my friends. Both real-life and blogging.
Somehow I've been terribly self-isolating lately.
It may or may not have something to do with dealing with erratic 3 year old perma-tantrums. I have no emotional energy left at the end of a long day with Sir O.
It's the kind of behavior that makes me wonder if I'm a terrible mother, or if he's mentally ill. Neither of which is either likely or impossible.

The Captain's got a tooth.
He likes to chew on me.
And why do pediatricians always feel the need to comment about how strong my babies are and how difficult it must be to change their diapers? Is that supposed to make me feel better or worse?

If either of these boys takes a decent nap today I hope to either do laundry or share a vacation recap. Which would you choose?

A little celebrating.

This year Sir O got 3.5 small birthday parties instead of one big one. By tonight's celebration he had it down and was singing to himself.


We are finally beginning the vacation recovery process. Lots of crankiness and sleep deprivation. I hope to pry the boys from my body long enough to share some of our adventures soon.

my disappearing act

(adventures in Reading Terminal Market today)

Where'd I go, say what?!

Yeah.....

It sort of worked out that we have a lot of company visiting us this summer. I'm in the midst of two+ weeks of hosting family. We're running around doing 14 hour days stacked on top of each other and I'm dangerously tired.

But it is oh so fun to watch Sir O and the Captain with my family.
It's good for my heart.

Be back (most likely with a recap) sooner or later!

Can I ask a favor?

Tomorrow we are having a special fast at our house for these lovely ladies.
I invite you to join us.
I'm certain any prayers you could send their way would help!

Play Nice

Sir O has a number of age appropriate fears, and he will rattle them off to you if you ask: Santa, bugs, and fireworks. Any and all fireworks. Yes; they are all things he will probably love a year from now.Sir O terrified of sparklers, despite Miranda's coaxing.

The Captain is not afraid of any of these things, but he can sum up his fears too: being left alone with his brother for more than a few seconds.
I wish my list were that short.

Dogpile

I hope everyone was able to enjoy their holiday weekend. Ours was nice, relatively quiet and full of humor and irony.
I'm feeling much better, enough so that I'm able to ignore what's left of this bug.
Sir O is terrified of fireworks, and they put the Captain to sleep. That about sums up all the differences between them.
The Captain is occasionally so delightful I want to snuggle his socks off. Sir O and Mr Renn share this sentiment. The Captain humors us.
Lots of snuggling at our house.

Rest

toulouse in the background. The Captain is teething like mad.

I have been feeling less-than-stellar for some time now, but this morning I woke up feeling like I had rocks in my lymph nodes. My energy has been peculiarly low, even for me. Something is amiss. So today I will "rest".

How does a mother of small children "rest" anyway?

Anyone?

The Captain has a new trick

Passing Time

We ricochet from being overstimulated to being bored out our ears around these parts.
Today we found ourselves braving 80+% humidity, rising temperatures, and no car.
So we had an outing before it got TOO muggy. (Not before it was uncomfortable, just before it was asphyxiating).
The poor captain just looked at us like we were crazy.

Sir O kept asking me to pick him (wild) flowers. When we got home an old man in the laundry room told Sir O he was a good boy for picking flowers for his mommy. I chuckled inside at the irony. The flowers are now at home in a blue vase on the kitchen table.

I never seem to have the camera ready at the right moment.
And my stash of floral tape is in danger of annihilation. Floral tape is fascinating stuff when you are nearly 3 years old. It is only sticky when it is stretched.